So many bars need rescuing,
so many I've been to are dead
they charge too much too much for a beer or a mixed drink,
it sucks man.
the neighborhood and dive bars are Dead
it's nothing going on
is it the bar or the people in the neighborhoods
the societies or politics or the people?
but so many are dull
are people weary?
I can't help it
tried to sit in some of these places
but it was so hard, nothing happening
and who wants to go straight home after work?
it sucks, it makes the evening go past so fast
and then you are right back there, the place to don't want to be
and who wants to be somewhere that they don't want to be?
sometimes there's life at the titty bars, other times there are not
Of course I'm a caveman,
I seek the quiet of course,
sometimes I like people, sometimes I don't
I don't hate people, that would make me crazy,
I do like the road less traveled though,
forgive me Frost for borrowing the line.
Sights, sounds, noises and drive me insane.
and I long for a dark gloomy cave,
some place to be a lone. I find the basement to be the most interesting place of a home.
I am so weird,
why more homes are not made below ground I do not know.
I dislike sunny days, making me stranger than most.
Summertime is extremely dull and depressing to me
I am so ancient. Something so ancient within me.
I am so in touch with a pre-human stage in life.
and it's just not me. I suppose most want to be un bothered for a while.
Then, We get bored with this and go out into the world
To play the world's games of course
But I love the idea of The Cave
Holding Humanity and Bears at bay
Of course.
There's an energy about it
I hate it
Most working people look forward to it though,
and those who are not working.
I don't. It's dull! The bars and clubs and roads and everything else are way toooo
busy!
I hate busy.
And you just wanna be away from them all
those celebrating the Great Friday Night.
Get a can of beer hopefully, and hopefully stay away from the
police and goons.
It's like Bukowski says, "I don't hate people, I just feel better when they are not around."
that famous quote, well I say most people, there are a few people you would rather be around.
But Friday is bullshit of course. Why not do Friday Night on a Tuesday Night.
another time for everyone to do the same thing.
everyone doing the same damn thing at the same damn time,
like the rush hour traffic and all that bullshit
I need a cave, of course.
Too get away from it.
It's interesting of course, all those people spilling their lives on the timeline.
Learning so much about people. How they act and respond, what they post. It's become the voice of the world, speaking poetry, videos and images to all of us.
It's like the news, but not like what you see on the the television,
it's personal, waaaay more personal, the poetry of people lives
The stuff that they allow you to see and hear,
its very psychological, what gets liked and what doesn't
and of course the marketers are watching you, like always,
and people throw tantrums and say they are leaving it forever,
and some of them do,
those who have pasted away
yet the people who are threatening to leave i see them on there mostly every day.
of course it's like a form of reading minds, seems like we are moving that way in the future. A machine that can read your mind, can you believe that?
I'm still out of touch with the masses, Facebook confirms it.
My mind works differently than most, i don't understand the politics of a Like, I suppose there are politics involved of course.
I don't live for Likes though. If you like it. Fine. If you don't. Fine.
That's the way it goes. The story of life on my earth.
America's Dad, The Cosby Show
it seem so genuine, but he was a fraud,
the show was as fake as could be.
millions watched it week after week
it set ratings, people looked forward to watching it every week
wishing they had such a family and home.
yet, the star of the show had issues of his own, which is alright with me.
But what was is not alright was him being some kind of moral police for the people. Talking about the kids with their sagging paints, and speaking in Ebonics
Meanwhile, he was putting drugs in girls drinks and fucking them.
which is alright with me. We all sin of course.
such wish some of us will quit casting stones,
so much, when they have a graveyard in there closet.
I know how he feels
not being comfortable in his own body
his own skin.
I feel that way a lot, been feeling this way,
for a long time
what can you do?
Drink, drug, commit suicide?
so many people feel this way, not loving or liking themselves
not feeling fee to be themselves
It's crazy that we can't be ourselves
all our chromosomes and genes forming a person
who will eventually be judged by some one else
so crazy, so stupid
It's an ugly world
fuck it
I related to her madness
she was my favorite singer while she was alive
she was a very talented singer, who sang
from her soul.
the words of the song meant something
to her, the experiences of a poet
not everyone can feel that
but a few can
Like me
when she was getting popular I was doing
open mic stand up comedy at the time
it was so hard, to have the courage to get up and make them laugh
there, I hated it!
I drank before I got on
a lot of comedians drank
I hated the stage
It sucked, I just wanted to write the shit
and get paid, that was it.
Then, I seen Amy, who was so brilliant in the studio and on the stage.
She had trouble getting on stage and performing in front of an audience. She had to get fucked up. Drunk and drugged.
I related to this. I thought she was stubbing her nose at the audience
I liked it, I had a problem with people who felt to comfortable in front of audience.
People can be dickheads, especially for standup and comedy shows.
My favorite comics drank heavily. To feel better and deal with boredom and anxiety of getting up there. I felt like it must have been the same with the rock dudes. Not really wanting to be up there.
Insecurites, Fear, Boredom.
The audience booed her when she fucked up on the stage. She forgot a lyric, fucked up a song they laughed. Made fun of the alcoholic drug addicted dope fiend.
That's what it is what like
I stopped during stand up, after a good friend of mine died after a terrible accident while drinking.
Amy was in the tabloids alot. The press seemed to enjoy it a lot. It was a big entertaining joke. The drinking and doing all the drugs to them
Then she died young
And all that stopped.
