Testosterone

This shit can make you unkind

it's a chemical men have, and even some women

in an abundance

it makes animals vicious, violent and hateful, and not

care about anyone, all the love gone in the world

when i was a little boy, I didn't have that much testo

how nice and sweet i was,  but you change when you

get that chemical in you

but sometimes i lose the testo and become sweeter,

nicer and kinder to those around me, which is a beautiful

thing!

Oh, maybe testo isn't so bad,  I mean somebody gotta hunt,

don't they?

kill something in the world, we can't all be sweet and nice and kind

so we lift weights, and shoot things with guns, have sex

all that mean, violent testosterone


so vicious and crazy

I'm a nice sweet guy who like UFC and gangsta rap, porn

it gets me pumped up

don't judge me!

Taking L'S

Life is all about taking losses

then winning, then taking another loss

it's mathematics

and some lose more than they win

and some win more than they lose

it's crazy!!

up and down and up and down

down and up

crazy math, worse than Calculus 

win win win win lose

lose lose lose win win lose

win lose win lose lose win

win win win win win win win lose win win win win lose win

lose lose lose lose lose lose win win lose lose lose lose lose

lose win lose win win win win win win win win win win lose

insanity mathematics

I've have been so terrible to you

Romantic Notions

The people are filled with romantic notions

even though they will try to deny it,

the people are filled with sappy poetry,

it dresses up, in make up, and they try to hide it

no one wants to be a sap

no man wants to be seen weeping at a movie

we create superheroes and myths,  admire the lion of the jungle,  or grisly bear for it's raw strength

a belief that strength endures in the world

isn't that romantic?

isn't that poetic even?

that nothing ever dies?

Everything stays young and strong and beautiful forever, at least something does, as everything passes on

no slave to clock or time or disease

isn't that romantic?

disgustingly so

The Bar Is Dying

Not many interesting bars to go to

but, I go into this bar that I go into all time

and it has gotten so tired,

the mutherfuckers smoke so much

you choke on the shit so badly

there are girls there pole dancing in bikinis

stage and music, drinking and goofy talk at the bar

it's not a good bar, but it's an interesting bar

more interesting than the other bars that are around

the neighborhood dive bars are so dull, filled

with people who have known each other their entire lives

well, it's not much

but I've learn so much in these places, I want to got to better

places, but the cops are all around this holiday weekend

and they keep sane people from wanting to go places, fun places

and just maybe this is best, as people kill themselves slowly with

cigarettes smoke and their pasts.

This weekend and History.

Mississippi River

Vast waters of the dark,

no light around, at all,

that was my dream, or nightmare

whatever you want to call it, just a small candle
that you could barely see

as things moved in the night,

things that could breathe, and could not

I felt bound to those things, yet i could not think

just see and feel, and I felt lost kinda scared,

but that was Life, things just moved and played on action

There was no books or thoughts around

In this dream I had.

Bringing the Gloom

Here comes me,

bringing the gloom again,  Mr.  Sensitive of course

sad downcast eyes,  taking this Life thing too serious

I should smile when I write,  then I would being more positive

I need to be more positive

I have brought too much gloom into the world, throughout the years

Gotta laugh at myself, do jumping jacks and sing

I should be ashamed up myself for bringing gloom to people who

are just trying to be happy.  Hey,  I can laugh at stand up comedy

I laugh at Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart

I gotta stop bringing the darkness and the gloom

all that real shit


Just be happy!!!!!!

And I'll try this,

then something fucked up happens

and I dwell on if of course,

then it's over, back into the fuckin negative thinking

and that's last for so long, until I hear a good song, or someone says

something funny

then, you can be positive again


and that's okay

Head up My Ass

Yes, my head is up my ass,

I am a pitiful dreamer, I admit this,

accept this, being sociable takes

so much away from me


My head is so far up my ass,

I can taste, the bagel with no cheese i have just eaten


ignore me kids, my head is very far up my ass

I know there are people who have the same problems as me, sometimes

I forget this!!!!

I am not special,  I should talk to them

but I have my head very far up ass

I should be able to talk to them about my problems

but I can't

I head is very far up my ass

It never feels good to tell people my problems

like, I can't walk up to a stranger, and start speaking

in sonnets to  you,

LOL!!

That would very foolish

and yes this was meant to be a funny poem

I, must forget all the tragedy of life, like

a broke, broken Shakespeare

Did I spell Shakespeare right grammar nerds?

I have sensory processing problems of course

Allergic To Money

It won't come to me

no matter how much I try

Maybe I am intelligent or

have deep thoughts

thoughts that a lot of people do not have

yet,

money seems allergic to me

Lol.

I try to figure that thing out

but it will not come to me,

it's as difficult as the most advanced math to me

those dollars or wealth or whatever you call it

and for some people

it all seems to come so easy

they know what people want

they have common sense

something I do not have admittedly

or maybe I'm lazy and don't want to hustle



Hustling something the masses have put on pedestal

but on your death dead will wish you have spent more time hustling and making money, when perhaps you have your final curtain?

I don't know man.

I'm not into what most people are into

I don't feel a connection to them

and just maybe I am wrong for that

but can this be helped?

Terrible Things

There are things that happen to you in Life

that you do not want to talk about

there are things that happened to you that you do not 

want to think about

at all 

ever

you just don't want think about it

or tell people about it

You just try to forget it

but it's there

it's always with you

like that

it's crazy how that goes

it's totally what makes a person who they are

but

they will not talk about it all

and that is crazy,

because, it always the most important

thing

the most important thing that has ever happened

to them

and they refuse to talk about it,

instead they talk

politics


and that's 

It

completely blowing their chance, to tell ya

anything

Thanks For The Advice

I appreciate it,

but it never seemed to work for me

like 90 percent of the advice, I received throughout

my life has never worked for me, I forgive those people who give advice though, because most of them mean well.

But no one really knows.   Ask Socrates or Plato or whoever that wrote that stuff, but don't ask me.

but whatever worked for me, just might not work for you, and then I have to live that with that

and i don't want that on my conscience at all man

I feel so silly as a sage or a prophet

and I don't give freely of advice or expect it to be given easily to me

Sorry

advice givers:  things might not quite work out the way expected it for that person, and the universe proves you wrong.

I mean it is hard enough to predict the weather, let a lone a person's life

well, i don't blame anyone for giving me advice, perhaps advice and encouragement works for most people, yet it just haven't worked for me.

than again,  I am a fuckin weirdo!

Well, all advice should come with a preamble, "Well this worked for me, but it might not work for you."

I think i am quoting either quoting or paraphrasing the Buddha.

Well, anyway it sounds smart

and that is what counts

Insult Me

It's okay,

my skin has grown tougher,



insult me, say the worse things about me

ill take that,

oh, boy bring all your fuckin hate

you stupid fuckers

hate me, I love it

I'm used to the shit

I remember when i was younger the shit used to bother me

but now

the words fall numb

insult me, laugh if you like

laugh at the glasses, the nose, the manner of speaking

i don't give a fuck

the pettiness don't bother me

in a world filled with cowardly and stupid people

insult me, I'll take it

and it will be so real,

I need it

any way, there was as kid at the bar buying all these girls drinks

and they are talking to him not feeling him, and when he walks away they laugh and insult him.  Then he comes back and, "says yawl laughing at me."

"no we ain't laughing at you," then they keep chuckling

but they kid is serious offended and i can see it

I tell him they are laughing at me to make him feel better, and they coulda have been laughing at me, but I don't give a fuck

are you serious?

keep laughing

for the long road to death comes for us all

and none of this shit will be remembered

ever

My Poetry Collection Available At Amazon

Buy an excellent collection of poems and lyrics.  You will long remember the words of this collection:

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In This Ring

You are by yourself

People are arriving and departing

This thing rolls on

People say they are your friends

People say they are lovers

But it's all bullshit

People pretend to know things

Yet they do not

It doesn't matter if you do

Or if you Don't

People take this life thing too serious

In this ring, your friends watch while you get your head knocked off

You are fighting for yourself against the liars, manipulators and schemers and hustlers.

All of them cowards

Death before dishonor

They don't believe in

that shit

In this ring

A Good Dude

Died and it hurt me bad

a good dude died, and it hurt more

than when my blood father passed away, who was not so good a lot of times

a good dude died man, I thought he

would live forever

homie was always in a good mood,

my step dad friend.

never heard him say a bad thing or do a bad thing to anyone

a good dude died and I wept,

i hear about people dying some times, people I know,

And

it has little effect on me usually, some of them were not very good

But damn, I will always see him doing yard work, to buy money for

weed, until I expire i guess, he smoked that shit a lot

a good dude died and it hurt me in worse way, didn't think it would

a good dude died and i could see the sadness in his friends eyes at the funeral

a good dude died and will be missed

and that's saying a lot.

NO Heroes

I don't really look for these kinds of people,

a dude who read one my stories remarked, "there is no hero, no one to root for, no one likable."  I thought ughh.  I didn't mean for the character to be likable or cared if the reader is rooting for someone. I don't root for people in the books that I read.

It just never occured to me at all, I needed for a hero.

But, I think about it: everyone seems to want a hero. Well mostly everyone.

I am not one of these though

there are people who are admirable, do things well I suppose
maybe i even look up to them.

But a hero?

It never really occurred to me

to look around a see a bunch of people walking around filled: hubris, arrogance, pride, fashion, foolish notions and caring waaaay too much about what others think of them.

How could any one find a hero in this crowd?

Beyond The Walls

Some people can see past what
is in front of them, others can't

some can see that there is more,

than what is in front of them in this world

others can not 

i don't know why i always see beyond some
prison's walls

but I do

I am rarely able to adapt to my environment,

i usually looking past it

There is more to the world I always say

for better of worse

the buildings, the schools, the neighborhoods,
the bars I've been in 

always looking past the things and people

I don't know why i do this?

somehow it saves me from a lot of shit,

sometimes not so much,

imagination and books have allowed me to
see past things I would have not otherwise

when there was no opportunity and chance anywhere

just a 

little hope

and that was it

http://www.amazon.com/Damion-Hamilton/e/B00YFZ44P8

Pain

No one can feel what you feel

no one can tell you how you feel

no one knows your pain, except you

only you are bound by it

only you can be confused by it

only you can suffer from it,

only you can experience it

we are locked inside ourselves, no matter how hard we
try to break free, to connect with another

and telling someone about your pain

seems so ridiculous 

they can't feel it, and it seems that

most humans lack total empathy

so, no way can they relate to the pain

of another 

they will probably laugh at the anguish of a soul

or a body, that's what they are good for

they can't understand it, until they suffer from it

I am holy about pain

I understand, "the world breaks everyone eventually"

that's what Hemingway said.  I believe it and have seen it

It will break me and you,
no matter how tough or brave you think you are

and only you, can own your pain

Time

Is not a friend

It comes, it goes

it dies, for you

for me,

Time goes by fast if you let it,

slow if others control it for you,

People are always trying to control it for you,

they get off that way

time will kill you if you let it,

your hours all mapped out

like a constellation in the sky

a constellation you did not map out

How can you get it on your side?

our days on this Earth so brief

even if you live to be a hundred

but who really lives to be one hundred?

that person died long ago

you watched the young ones come up

and they are just as impatient as the last

group to come up

and the last thing they want is wisdom

they want to figure this thing out for themselves

a hard way, I suppose

but i hate the scars from my foolish time

I would tell my self of the past,

to know better than I did

this me thing,

right here

right now

Bar Rescue

So many bars need rescuing,

so many I've been to are dead


they charge too much too much for a beer or a mixed drink,

it sucks man.

the neighborhood and dive bars are Dead

it's nothing going on 

is it the bar or the people in the neighborhoods

the societies or politics or the people?

but so many are dull

are people weary?

I can't help it 

tried to sit in some of these places

but it was so hard, nothing happening

and who wants to go straight home after work?

it sucks, it makes the evening go past so fast

and then you are right back there, the place to don't want to be

and who wants to be somewhere that they don't want to be?

sometimes there's life at the titty bars, other times there are not

Cave Man

Of course I'm a caveman,

I seek the quiet of course,

sometimes I like people, sometimes I don't

I don't hate people, that would make me crazy,

I do like the road less traveled though,

forgive me Frost for borrowing the line.

Sights, sounds, noises and drive me insane.

and I long for a dark gloomy cave,

some place to be a lone.  I find the basement to be the most interesting place of a home.

I am so weird, 

why more homes are not made below ground I do not know.

I dislike sunny days, making me stranger than most.

Summertime is extremely dull and depressing to me

I am so ancient.  Something so ancient within me.
I am so in touch with a pre-human stage in life.

and it's just not me.  I suppose most want to be un bothered for a while.

Then, We get bored with this and go out into the world

To play the world's games of course

But I love the idea of The Cave

Holding Humanity and Bears at bay

Of course.