They follow me
they become my friends in bars
the tell me things: the drunks, and druggies
I don't learn anything from the sober people
they are afraid to reveal themselves to the world
I find them boring
the drunks let their soul speak
no filter: you see and hear a REAL person
and not facade or shell of a human being
Haven't been a fight in years
go to work mostly every day
I say thank you and please
and a lot of time I feel too civilized
as I type this out using Starbucks wifi
on my chrome book in the First World
I look out a window and see two kids who look homeless
and my feet are sore from work,
I listen to John Green talk about wars through out history
and the Industrial Revolution
and think do I have it too good?
a crazy thought, right?
nobody has it too good?
we all suffer right?
I need to do some hard work with my
hands and get calluses and bruises
lift more weights, some of the kids around me
are looking waaay to strong (they can take me).
Maybe, I should find someone that will make me suffer
Tonight
Most of the time,
I feel as if I am falling apart
and perhaps i'm always falling apart:
late, for things, money rumpled up in my pockets
rushing to get somewhere
never organized, never organized
my old friend chaos rains down on me
getting everything wrong, everything wrong
hard to pay attention to what is deemed consequential
anxiety my dear lover, and fear is her best friend
always leading down a hot road, which ends
too soon
I gotta get some things right
I'm at war with the tribe, I do not wanna be at
war with the tribe
I always found rebels to be pretentious,
though it seems like I am one nonetheless
trapped of course
It's terrible
and people pretend to like the
summer, I hate that shit
driving in a high mileage car,
can't run the air conditioning constantly
and people are waaay meaner
living in St. Louis with it's high murder rate
you don't do much out, and are drenched in sweat
and people say they like this weather
well
how come so many people run their air conditioner
on this bright sunny day?
if they loooove this weather?
reality sucks
as you know
and I write about it
how much it sucks
but i love fantasy
but i can't write about fantasy
or even read it
it won't help me understand this strange
and confusing world
but i love the fantasy the dream of getting
what you want
reality is: toiling the way at some monotonous job
I think of of auto mechanic mowing his lawn after work
then going inside and watching some great television!
how terrible and awful is that?
and that is reality my friend
not remotely living
It's been all about
trade
all about religion
mostly trade
people had to earn a living didn't they?
so they went to faraway places
and gathered the natural resources:
spices, gold, silver, etc
and people worked hard for these things
that they did not rich off of themselves
and people became rich,
though not as rich as a lot of working folk
who are alive right now
but, then our rich are incredibly rich
I can not imagine
well people gathered riches through industry,
and slavery, and war
and I can not help but to think of a simple drug deal,
or exchange between car salesperson and a buyer
the world working at it's best or worst
you decide
