Passing Thoughts

I throw a negative ball into the world

and some one else catches it,

they are playing center field

they have great hands, and as soon as they catch

the ball, they throw it away

and some else will catch it

it's in the eyes, body language, the voice

the tools that we use, we put a lot into the world

I catch thoughts too,

anger, hatred, jealousy, envy

people can feel aggression or kindness from a being

analyze it and throw it back or store it

but I don't forget it

and know they will be back around again

it's the corner of the beast

around and around and around

this game we play

The Bar Is Dying

Not many interesting bars to go to

but, I go into this bar that I go into all time

and it has gotten so tired,

the mutherfuckers smoke so much

you choke on the shit so badly

there are girls there pole dancing in bikinis

stage and music, drinking and goofy talk at the bar

it's not a good bar, but it's an interesting bar

more interesting than the other bars that are around

the neighborhood dive bars are so dull, filled

with people who have known each other their entire lives

well, it's not much

but I've learn so much in these places, I want to got to better

places, but the cops are all around this holiday weekend

and they keep sane people from wanting to go places, fun places

and just maybe this is best, as people kill themselves slowly with

cigarettes smoke and their pasts.

This weekend and History.

Mississippi River

Vast waters of the dark,

no light around, at all,

that was my dream, or nightmare

whatever you want to call it, just a small candle
that you could barely see

as things moved in the night,

things that could breathe, and could not

I felt bound to those things, yet i could not think

just see and feel, and I felt lost kinda scared,

but that was Life, things just moved and played on action

There was no books or thoughts around

In this dream I had.

MAN

This man, wants to be left a lone,

a lot of time, perhaps most of the times

Call me antisocial or whatever 

I don't care, I don't get tired of my personality,

I like my thoughts mostly, better than other people thoughts.  I'm a dickhead!!

I will admit this

people rush into a crowd to be with them


because they are afraid of themselves, their own voice

they don't trust it all.  No confidence

You gotta believe in yourself, or else you'll never do or say anything

You will let other people talk for you

You will quote their vile venom, as if it was your own

and that is so sad


But some men need some time alone,  they grow tired of the bickering  and complaining, and arguing of the human race

their banal convictions

personalities and actions forcing themselves
upon you.

Bringing the Gloom

Here comes me,

bringing the gloom again,  Mr.  Sensitive of course

sad downcast eyes,  taking this Life thing too serious

I should smile when I write,  then I would being more positive

I need to be more positive

I have brought too much gloom into the world, throughout the years

Gotta laugh at myself, do jumping jacks and sing

I should be ashamed up myself for bringing gloom to people who

are just trying to be happy.  Hey,  I can laugh at stand up comedy

I laugh at Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart

I gotta stop bringing the darkness and the gloom

all that real shit


Just be happy!!!!!!

And I'll try this,

then something fucked up happens

and I dwell on if of course,

then it's over, back into the fuckin negative thinking

and that's last for so long, until I hear a good song, or someone says

something funny

then, you can be positive again


and that's okay

Burn

You burn when you feel like the forces are against you

whatever those forces maybe

a lot of times it's damn if you do or damn if you don't

I can't bullshit those who are locked up or sick

You can not bullshit those who are locked up or sick

you just can't

while, some of us may have some level of comfort

you can not bullshit those at the bottom of this pyramid you call life

you can not bullshit me, after a difficult days' work

you just can't

it's like everything stands in your way of being happy

or content and how can you expect it not too?

what's happiness?

what is contentment in this dream we call LIFE?

Head up My Ass

Yes, my head is up my ass,

I am a pitiful dreamer, I admit this,

accept this, being sociable takes

so much away from me


My head is so far up my ass,

I can taste, the bagel with no cheese i have just eaten


ignore me kids, my head is very far up my ass

I know there are people who have the same problems as me, sometimes

I forget this!!!!

I am not special,  I should talk to them

but I have my head very far up ass

I should be able to talk to them about my problems

but I can't

I head is very far up my ass

It never feels good to tell people my problems

like, I can't walk up to a stranger, and start speaking

in sonnets to  you,

LOL!!

That would very foolish

and yes this was meant to be a funny poem

I, must forget all the tragedy of life, like

a broke, broken Shakespeare

Did I spell Shakespeare right grammar nerds?

I have sensory processing problems of course

So Many Things

So many cool things to do

so many fun, and interesting things to do

so many intoxicating things to stimulate the senses

which, are always on march and parade

DOPAMINE

I stay chasing the next exciting thing

the spectacle, the stimulation, music, promise

but mostly I work my life away

and then I drink, after

Then the internet stimulates me:  Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram

Goodreads, Reddit

the next fix,

always the next fix

not where I want to be

you can only be in one place

I think my mind wants to be, in all places at once

then, you get bored

fucking bored

that's there again

Then minutes, moments, seconds move fast

out of your life

Alan Watts said, "thoughts are addictive," I know what he means

he's not speaking in riddles

A lot of times, it's just best not to think

Somewhere in complete isolation

with no one talking to you, or speaking to you

eventually the voices and thoughts go away

and you can cleanse yourself

Hopefully

Allergic To Money

It won't come to me

no matter how much I try

Maybe I am intelligent or

have deep thoughts

thoughts that a lot of people do not have

yet,

money seems allergic to me

Lol.

I try to figure that thing out

but it will not come to me,

it's as difficult as the most advanced math to me

those dollars or wealth or whatever you call it

and for some people

it all seems to come so easy

they know what people want

they have common sense

something I do not have admittedly

or maybe I'm lazy and don't want to hustle



Hustling something the masses have put on pedestal

but on your death dead will wish you have spent more time hustling and making money, when perhaps you have your final curtain?

I don't know man.

I'm not into what most people are into

I don't feel a connection to them

and just maybe I am wrong for that

but can this be helped?

Eight To Five

Those are the peak hours for people

when humans are busy

they get everything done in these hours

everybody doing the same thing, at the same 

damn time

everybody bumping into each other

everybody just missing each other

everybody just getting a little bit done

I love when these hours are over with

and there is less folks on the roads, or in the stores

I take the roads traveled less, of course 

I don't feel apart of the tribe

Of course all the, "good people," live the eight to five life

it gets dreary and predictable when you can finish a person's sentence for them

and with the eight to fivers you can do that a lot

but those roads at night so are empty and great for me

except for the police

who are always thinking you are up to no good, by being out at night

They think the good people of the world have all gone home, to do their kids home work or watch television or cook dinner, and wait for their jobs to start all over again

"Why are you out so late?" they asked.

"Because I could not stand to be out with them" I say.

They can not understand this, at all.

of course.

Terrible Things

There are things that happen to you in Life

that you do not want to talk about

there are things that happened to you that you do not 

want to think about

at all 

ever

you just don't want think about it

or tell people about it

You just try to forget it

but it's there

it's always with you

like that

it's crazy how that goes

it's totally what makes a person who they are

but

they will not talk about it all

and that is crazy,

because, it always the most important

thing

the most important thing that has ever happened

to them

and they refuse to talk about it,

instead they talk

politics


and that's 

It

completely blowing their chance, to tell ya

anything

Thanks For The Advice

I appreciate it,

but it never seemed to work for me

like 90 percent of the advice, I received throughout

my life has never worked for me, I forgive those people who give advice though, because most of them mean well.

But no one really knows.   Ask Socrates or Plato or whoever that wrote that stuff, but don't ask me.

but whatever worked for me, just might not work for you, and then I have to live that with that

and i don't want that on my conscience at all man

I feel so silly as a sage or a prophet

and I don't give freely of advice or expect it to be given easily to me

Sorry

advice givers:  things might not quite work out the way expected it for that person, and the universe proves you wrong.

I mean it is hard enough to predict the weather, let a lone a person's life

well, i don't blame anyone for giving me advice, perhaps advice and encouragement works for most people, yet it just haven't worked for me.

than again,  I am a fuckin weirdo!

Well, all advice should come with a preamble, "Well this worked for me, but it might not work for you."

I think i am quoting either quoting or paraphrasing the Buddha.

Well, anyway it sounds smart

and that is what counts

Insult Me

It's okay,

my skin has grown tougher,



insult me, say the worse things about me

ill take that,

oh, boy bring all your fuckin hate

you stupid fuckers

hate me, I love it

I'm used to the shit

I remember when i was younger the shit used to bother me

but now

the words fall numb

insult me, laugh if you like

laugh at the glasses, the nose, the manner of speaking

i don't give a fuck

the pettiness don't bother me

in a world filled with cowardly and stupid people

insult me, I'll take it

and it will be so real,

I need it

any way, there was as kid at the bar buying all these girls drinks

and they are talking to him not feeling him, and when he walks away they laugh and insult him.  Then he comes back and, "says yawl laughing at me."

"no we ain't laughing at you," then they keep chuckling

but they kid is serious offended and i can see it

I tell him they are laughing at me to make him feel better, and they coulda have been laughing at me, but I don't give a fuck

are you serious?

keep laughing

for the long road to death comes for us all

and none of this shit will be remembered

ever

The Robots

They will take over

and perhaps, the world

will be better,

they will drive our cars, pilot the planes

be better surgeons, cook better

the robots are coming, and they will be able to do

everything better

even be better soldiers,

Humans love their wars so much, and their scars

and these machines will out do us at that even

sad sad sad

Heard they will even be better sex workers

Oh, they will do everything better!

perhaps, none of us will ever have do any

fuckin work,  and perhaps that will be a good

thing, we can eat and just lay around and play

Heavens’ knows the curse of work has destroyed the

human race,

ask all those old and in pain?